


My Little Girl

by BeneaththeHalo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Era, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Secret Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4180950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeneaththeHalo/pseuds/BeneaththeHalo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Freya's death, Merlin needed time away. He needed to FORGET. Nearly two years later, and the unknown consequences in his past finally catch up with Merlin in Camelot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Little Girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adrift_me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrift_me/gifts).



> Written for the BBC Merlin Merlin MPreg Network Father's Day Exchange, for Julia (aka toffy346)
> 
> Set in canon, after the season 3 finale but before the start of season 4. The only difference is that Merlin and Arthur are in an established relationship.

Merlin could still picture the girl, or at least a vague picture of her, in his mind’s eye. It had been only a few years after he’d arrived in Camelot, not long after Freya had died, when he’d thought Arthur loved another. He had been raw and hurting and _aching_ then, and he’d wanted to _forget_. Merlin had met her when he had returned home to Ealdor to spend time with his mother, needing a few days away from… well, _everything_. He’d known Arthur would never have given him a day off, so Merlin had begged Gaius to lie for him. Gaius, of course, had disapproved, but he’d understood. Oh boy, had he understood. He knew loss and heartache, all the more terrible because it couldn’t be shared, had to be kept secret because of that terrible power the loved one possessed. So he’d let Merlin go, promising that Arthur wouldn’t know the real reason, but not being able to promise that the crown prince wouldn’t punish him.

Home in Ealdor, Merlin had barely had to set foot in his mother’s front door, tears glistening in his eyes, and she had _known_ , the way mothers knew that something was wrong. Hunith had held her only child as he’d cried, only seven words leaving his mouth.

_“I’ll never get to hold her again.”_

It was on the second night he was there that Merlin saw the girl. He didn’t remember her from his childhood, or when he’d returned to Ealdor with Arthur and Gwen and Morgana. _Elia_ , he’d discovered her name was. A beautiful name, for a beautiful girl. She was the niece of one of the women in the village, sent to live with her after the death of her parents and her betrothed at the hands of bandits. She hadn’t been able to be alone since, Elia had told Merlin. Both of them knew loss. Raw, horrifying, _terrible_ loss, as painful as it could possibly be.

Merlin still couldn’t say what had brought him to do it. Maybe he wanted someone else’s touch to replace the ghost of Freya’s that he could still feel. Maybe he thought it would help with the grief. Maybe he’d just had so much heartache, he couldn’t take it anymore. Whatever the reason, Merlin had still spent the night with Elia. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, so caught up in his grief as he was, and regretted it almost instantly. So had Elia. Which was why Merlin had headed back to Camelot the next morning, promising Elia he would never see her again.

***

When the woman showed up in Camelot, weak, barely able to keep going, setting a small child down beside her when she saw him, it had taken Merlin a while to recognise her. She was so fragile, so _sick_ , it was a wonder she had made it this far at all. It wasn’t until he caught her as she fell to the ground that he recognised her.

“Elia,” he breathed, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “Elia, what are you _doing_ here?”

“Merlin…” she croaked, barely able to talk at all. “I- I found you.”

“I need to get you to Gaius,” Merlin insisted, looking for someone, _anyone_ that he knew could help.

“There’s- there’s no time… I need- need to tell you...”

“At least let me take you back so we can talk in private,” Merlin insisted, practically _begged_. “People will hear us here.”

Merlin detected the faintest of nods, before Elia’s eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp in Merlin’s arms. “Elia,” he said, but she did not wake. “ _Elia!”_

The little girl was crying too, tugging on Elia’s clothes, screaming, _“Mum! Mum!”_ Merlin barely had time to register the word, what it meant, before Lancelot was beside him.

“Merlin,” he said, worried, bending down beside them. “Who’s this?”

“She’s- her name is Elia,” said Merlin. “She’s from Ealdor. From my hometown. She was going to tell me something, but then she…” Merlin shook his head, trying to clear it, but it was like he had consumed the strongest ale in Arthur’s stores. “We have to get her to Gaius. Maybe he can…” Merlin trailed off then, not even daring to think. He didn’t even know what Gaius would be able to do for her.

“It’s alright, Merlin,” Lancelot promised him, a strong hand resting on Merlin’s shoulder. “I’ll carry her. You get-”

“Her daughter,” Merlin said. “We need to hurry. Elia doesn’t have a lot of time left.”

***

Merlin had known from the moment he’d seen Elia, but Gaius’s diagnosis was still hard to take. Elia was dying. She was nearly dead already. Merlin had been right; it was a wonder Elia had made it all the way to Camelot, given how sick she was.

Gaius and Lance stepped out of the room, leaving Merlin alone with Elia. The little girl was sleeping, tired out from the journey and her crying, her rather large ears poking out from under her hair. “Elia…” Merlin whispered, but then he spoke up, not wanting Elia to have to strain her ears. “Why did you come here?”

“I had to- had to bring her to you,” Elia murmured, her voice weak. It wouldn’t be long now. “Aunt- already dead… you’re all…”

“But _why_ , Elia?” Merlin insisted, even though part of him already knew the answer.

“She’s- Liana is yours, Merlin…”

Merlin was silent. He was frozen, his eyes drawn to the sleeping child. Her ears were his ears, and the way she curled up her fists as she slept was exactly the way Merlin had done when he was little. When Merlin looked back at Elia, though-

She was already gone.

“Elia!” he exclaimed, trying frantically to wake her. “ _Elia_!” Even though it was no use, Merlin tried so hard and screamed so loud, Lancelot burst back into the room. The next thing Merlin knew, Lance was pulling him backwards, away from Elia’s body, trying to tug him gently across to the other side of the room and away from the bed.

“Merlin,” Lance whispered, his voice gentle and calming. “Merlin. It’s no use. She’s already gone.” Merlin kept trying to tug against Lancelot pull, but the knight of Camelot was stronger than he was. “Merlin. You don’t want to wake the girl.

Thinking of Liana- _his_ Liana- Merlin finally let Lancelot pull him away. Gaius hadn’t returned with Lancelot, so the knight led Merlin over to a chair, sitting him down and pressing a cup into his hands. “Drink,” he ordered, and Merlin drank. It was just water, but Merlin gulped it down like it was the sweetest wine.

“She’s yours, isn’t she?” Lancelot finally said.

Merlin looked up at him, stunned. “How did you-”

“It’s the only reason Elia would bring her to you,” Lancelot reasoned. “Plus, I recognised the ears. They’re pretty distinctive.” Lancelot cracked a smile, but Merlin couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

The two men sat in silence for a while, Merlin’s best friend a comforting presence by his side. It was several long minutes before Merlin finally talked. “I don’t know what to do, Lancelot. She’s _mine_ , Liana is my _daughter_ , but I-”

“You can be a father, Merlin,” Lancelot said with conviction, staring Merlin in the eye and refusing to look away until the warlock looked up. "You care so much about the people around you. You would do,  and _have_ done, anything for them. You can do this."

Merlin was still silent, although he didn't look away from Lancelot. There was a blazing look in the knight's eyes; he wholeheartedly believed every word he was saying. Too bad Merlin didn't.

"My own father walked away. I haven't been there for nearly the first two years of my own daughter's _life_!" Merlin cried, his voice frantic and his eyes bulging, trying to make Lancelot understand that he _could not do this._ "How can I expect to do this now?"

"Your father didn't know you existed, until the day you met him," Lancelot pointed out, always the logical one. "You didn't know about your daughter until Elia brought her to you mere hours ago. That is no reason to doubt your ability to be a parent. And Merlin, you have looked death and destruction in the face and won. You beat that griffin, Morgana and her sister, and you have saved Arthur's life so many times I'm sure you've lost count. Times that I'm sure you're constantly reminding him about. If you can do that, I know you can do this. And you won't be alone. I'm sure Arthur will-"

"Arthur," Merlin remembered suddenly. "I have to tell him, but we've just- we've just started to-"

"He will understand, Merlin," Lancelot insisted. "He loves you, more I think even he realises. You told him your secret, even though you faced a painful death, and he still forgave you all your lies. I still remember that day he vowed to you and the Round Table, about what he will do when he becomes king. If the two of you can do that, I'm sure you, with Arthur's help even, can raise Liana."

 _Magic_ , Merlin realised, turning to look at the sleeping girl and _fearing_ for her. "What if Liana has magic? What if she's like me?"

"Well then, there's no one better to raise her and teach her about magic than you. You know how to control it, and you've proved how beautiful and good magic can be. And for the record, Merlin, _I_ believe you can do this."

Merlin's eyes lingered on Liana for another moment, before focusing on Lancelot again. Lancelot had not one discouraging word, nothing to say that would make Merlin think he couldn't do this. Hell, Lancelot was started to make Merlin think he _could_ do this.

"Thank you, Lancelot," Merlin said finally. "You're a true friend."

***

Merlin must have dozed off for a while, because the next thing he knew, Arthur was knocking on the doorframe to Merlin and Gaius's chambers. "Merlin?" he said, rather more gentle than was common. "Lancelot said you needed to see me." Whatever Lancelot had said must have concerned Arthur, because he didn't complain even jokingly about being sent for, even though he was the Crown Prince and Prince Regent.

"I didn't ask him to send for you," said Merlin stupidly, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes of sleep. "But I'm glad he did. I need to- I promised you no more secrets between us." He gestured towards Liana, who was still sleeping. She must have been through an ordeal getting here, and she would have been exhausted. "Liana- she- she is-"

"She's yours, isn't she?" said Arthur.

"How did you..."

"I recognised the ears," Arthur admitted. "They're your ears exactly."

"Those ears that you make fun of so often," Merlin retorted, trying to make something, _anything_ , normal right now.

"Only because I love them, like I love you," Arthur whispered, his voice soft, knowing exactly when Merlin needed their banter and when he needed _Arthur._

"I swear to you, I didn't know," said Merlin suddenly, frantically, praying that Arthur understood. "I spent the night with her when I went back to Ealdor, nearly two years ago, after... after Freya. Elia died, mere hours ago, and I- I'm all Liana has left."

"It's okay, Merlin," Arthur assured him, pressing his lips to Merlin's brow before sitting down beside her. "I believe you. And you're her _father_. I know you're going to raise her. I wouldn't expect anything less of you." He took Merlin's hand, linking their fingers together, squeezing until Merlin smiled. "I'm not going to end _this_ between us, if that's what you're worried about. We need to talk about this properly first, and obviously I have my duties, but anything you and Liana need-"

Arthur was silenced when Merlin crushed their lips together, hard and sloppy but _grateful_. "I love you," Merlin whispered against Arthur's lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I love you too. And you _can_ do this."

"You know what?" said Merlin, as Liana started to stir. "I think maybe I can."

 

 


End file.
